The Mirage of Perfection

“The condition, state or quality of being free, or as free as possible, from all flaws or defects.”

Have you ever found yourself completely caught-up in someone else’s life-path? Suddenly consumed with their seemingly-perfect life? No matter how short, or long-lived?

“Perfect” family.

“Perfect” home.

“Perfect”  vacations.

“Perfect” clothes.

“Perfect” body/looks.

Perfection. 

Perfection is one of jealousy’s greatest triggers. Stirring up feelings of judgment. Anger. Resentment. And lowered self-worth.

“Perfection”.

Life’s grand illusion. A hallucinated image. A misconception. Fantasy. Trick of the eyes.

Because, you see, beautiful souls, the thing is, it is all merely a mirage.

Because, the truth? The actual reality?

There. is. no. such. thing. as. perfect.

No one is free from flaws.

No body without its scars, sacrifices and stories.

No relationship without its imperfections, maintenance and time in the trenches.

No home is without its blemishes, debt and repairs.

No vacation without its hiccups and expenses.

No clothing without confidence to purchase and wear it.

The other day, I saw a photo of an old friend through social media. Our face-to-face interactions have been sprinkled here-and-there over the years, but few-and-far between. Yet, the other day, upon seeing the photo, the word “perfect” immediately came to mind. When we were much younger, and had a much closer friendship, that image of “perfect” was one I had always hung over her head.

It only took a few moments to shake the feelings of jealousy and remember that, once again, it’s all simply a mirage. And social media? Makes it unbelievably easy for those envious emotions to flood in. Because, sweet friends, we only ever really get a snapshot. Most of the time, those of whom we are most covetous are the ones we never really get to see and know “behind the scenes”.

Over the years, I have learned of two incredible tools for battling those moments of weakness, when I lose track of the beauty directly in front of me, finding myself wishing for what someone else has:

1. Kindness. Compliment and congratulate. No matter how big the “gulp” of swallowing your pride. It will become easier. And feel so. much. better. than gossiping and judging. Especially with much practice.

2. Knowing that everyone has a story. You truly never know the battles someone has fought. Abuse. Anxiety. Eating disorder. Debt. Divorce. Health. Heartbreak. Miscarriage. Mental Illness. Judging a book simply by its cover is never the way to go. Because, most of us…we have some kind of outer-shell to crack open, thick or thin. And chances are, once the shell begins to crack, we quickly realize just how much time we have wasted on the mirage of perfection.

“This is the very perfection of a man, to find out his own imperfections.” Saint Augustine