In His Time

I am “that” girl. Yup. That one. Whose mind is miles ahead of her body. Planning out future moves. Spinning through a movie reel of how life will unfold “just-so”. Thinking I’ve got it all under control. And continuously praying that it will somehow remotely play out like I wish and hope it will.

But you see sweet friends; that’s the thing. I can plan all I want. Map it out. Color-code it. Schedule it. Put it on the calendar. W.i.t.h. p.e.r.m.a.n.e.n.t. m.a.r.k.e.r. Detail it to an OCD “t”. But it’s almost guaranteed not to go as planned. Because if the only thing we hang onto is OUR plan, then we will never fully see what our life could have been.

Many times, suddenly, out of what seems like nowhere in most circumstances, something unexpected comes along that halts our plans directly in their tracks. Causing us to hit the breaks. Unexpectedly throwing our agendas in reverse. Shifted off the preset path. Left standing still in time. And more often than not, we find ourselves wallowing in sorrow. That our “plan” is not following our predetermined course.

Oh, beautiful friends. How m.a.n.y. times I have found myself in this situation. Because if you a planner like me, you have a need for control. Over e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. And that’s just it. When we have this constant desire to regulate our circumstances, we discover an embedded need to be at the center of everything. As if we (and our plans) are more important than anyone or anything revolving around us and our lives. Almost like a quest for some of us (guilty as I write…).

And that, my friends, is just not our place to be. The sooner we figure that out, the better. The sooner we learn to relinquish that control, the better. The sooner we learn to f.u.l.l.y. trust that God has our best interests in mind at all times, and that anything He has planned for us is so. much. better. than anything we could ever dream of blue-printing for ourselves; the better.

” ‘I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord. ‘Plans to prosper you. And not to harm you. Plans to give you hope. And a future.’ ” (~Jeremiah 29:11)

This is a lesson I have learned over-and-over-and-over again. Apologizing around every corner. “I’m sorry, God. I should have learned by now, huh? You’ve ‘got this’. You keep showing me, and yet, my faith keeps wavering.” I can plan my life out from start-to-finish. Pick every “perfect” instant for those special moments to unravel in my existence. Yet, unless I realize God’s intervention in my life will only make it grander, my plans will n.e.v.e.r. be fulfilling. Instead, unrewarding. Thankless. Providing much. less. joy. than my heart could have ever imagined.

The downfall for most of us in recentering our faith in God into our future hopes and plans? That sneaky comparison trap. Of assessing and attempting to balance our own life and perhaps what is not happening for us right now, to those around us. But, the hidden problem with that degrading habit? The fact that in most instances, those to whom we are comparing ourselves have been through many of the same struggles (a great many of which happen behind closed doors), yet we refuse to get to know most people enough to learn their behind-the-scenes story. And we only take their lives at face value. Through social media snapshots. Versus taking the time to really learn more about another sweet, worthy soul.

God’s plans for each of us is meant in just that context. For each of us. In His time. Not ours. I am a true testament to the flaw of impatience. Wanting now. Wondering “why not”? Demanding answers. Instead of practicing fortitude. Reflection. Prayer. And most importantly, faith. Knowing in the depths of my heart, mind and soul, that the One Who created us would never give us less than His absolute, unimaginable best. And until we can truly let go of the life we have prearranged for ourselves, we will never be able to see the magnificence that He has planned for us. With perfect, 20-20 hindsight, timing.

The best way to keep myself in line with God’s plans for me, in purposeful way, each day? To pray the following, in my time alone with Him:

“Dear Lord, please send the Holy Spirit into my life. Please hold my hand, and guide me along the path that you have created for me in my life. In my family’s life. As a Christian. As a wife. A mother. A daughter. A sister. An aunt. A Godmother. A friend. A teacher. A writer. And in any other roles that you have planned for me.”

Putting that trust in Him, each-and-every day, is the absolute best way for me personally to release the reigns of control and recenter my faith that, in fact, my plans are n.o.t.h.i.n.g. compared to what He has in store for me.