Cry for Help

Hey super lady. Yes, I am talking to you. You’re the one. Intrigued by the title of this post, but glancing through, thinkin’ “this is definitely not for me“. I have some news for you. This one is sPeCiFiCaLlY written j.u.s.t. for you. But I have to assure you; it truly comes from the very bottom of my heart. With only the very best intentions.

I used to be you. The woman. The mommy. Who didn’t need help. Who didn’t want to “bother” others. Who thought I could do it all. And I tried. Oh, puuuhlease believe me, sweet friend; I tried. Hard. As in, with dug-into-my-core ambition. With a don’t-ask-me-if-I-need-help-cause-you’re-barkin’-up-the-w.r.o.n.g.-tree attitude. And a “can’t-you-see-I’ve-got-this-all-under-control” air about me. Mrs. Independent. Yup.

But, I must confess sweet friend. I have a secret. One that lingered deep within my weary soul. For years. Lean in close to read this one, pretty woman…

It. was. all. a. façade. With a seasoned poker face. No one knew any better. Because I didn’t let anyone in. I didn’t need to, right? Just like you. You are a rock star. So was I. I was c.o.n.v.i.n.c.e.d. And I had plenty of others persuaded as well.

Except…my body told me otherwise. My throbbing head. My aching back. My weary legs. My exhausted heart. Tired from working overtime. When all I had to do was open my mouth and release three little words. That might tarnish my image. Of having-it-all-together. Of being that untouchable momma. Simply enjoying the pure beauty of motherhood. With a career to accompany it all.  With the polished, polite and always-sweet children. “Uh-huh.” Just cruisin’ along in my “official” minivan.

And then I prepared to return to work after Baby Nugget was born, and suddenly, being the in-control-at-all-times momma just wasn’t cutting it anymore. Before I knew it, I wasn’t the one at the steering wheel any longer. Life was running me over. I had the tire marks on my back to prove it. I had hit my breaking point. Back into an anxious state of mind. Slapped in the face with an epiphany.

I n.e.e.d. h.e.l.p.

A l.o.t. of it.

Or I w.o.n.’t. s.u.r.v.i.v.e.

I was drowning in my own mommy-made whirlpool, spiraling out of my control . Gasping for air. Wondering how I had even made it as far as I had.

So, slowly, but surely, I started to let others in. As simple as making copies at school. Bringing a warm meal when I had three little ones under the weather. Watching two of the three girls, so I could accomplish something with the last little sweetie.

And I have to admit, beautiful lady, being on this side of it all is so completely refreshing. The grass is most definitely greener. But I can still see through you….”I don’t want to bother anyone. I know everyone is busy.”

Newsflash sister. Busy is a part of life. When I sense that overpowering feeling approaching, you better believe, from now on, I am going to bother. I am go to ask. Beg. Plead. Bribe. For help. Assistance. Until I can catch my breath and inhale. To the point my lungs are full and refreshed. Because I l.o.v.e. it when others ask me for help. For guidance. For support. I adore feeling needed. And I imagine, so. do. you.

Still not convinced?

Have you ever thought about this? Jesus had 12 helpers. Let me s.p.e.l.l. this out for you, sweet friend. T-W-E-L-V-E. Hand-picked assistants. To be by his side at all times. God didn’t just create us to exist within our own reality. He made us in His image. To interact. To cross paths. To support. To guide. To simply love.

Can you imagine if Jesus n.e.v.e.r. gathered these helpers? If he, too, tried to do it all himself? How completely and utterly worn out he would have been? How much less of an impact he would have made? Wow.

Has it ever crossed your mind to make a list? Mental or concrete. Of family. Friends. Coworkers. Bible-study support group. A list of people who would be there for you at a moment’s notice. To offer a listening ear. A hot meal. A warm embrace. A last-minute babysitting need. The opportunities are endless. Maybe to actually s.e.e. that list hanging within sight day-in-and-day-out would be the perfect reminder for you. That God created these amazing, incredible, utterly special persons to be in your life just for that reason. To answer your cries for help. No matter how silent or ragingly-loud they might be.

I have no doubt that God made us women such intuitive creatures for a reason. So, on the flip-side, brave lady, don’t be afraid to use that hidden instinct. If you see a fellow friend sinking in her own self-created sandpit of exhaustion , be politely forceful. Remind her that she can’t do it all. She shouldn’t try to do it all. And in fact, you won’t let her do it all.

And that’s the whole point…you can’t do it all, super lady. And you really shouldn’t try. Your spirits and personal well-being are worth so. much. more. than any prideful reputation you think you have at stake. Take this from the bottom of my recovering overworked heart…<3